Dance break!

Last night I had this insane dream where I woke up one morning and was five months pregnant. I had gone to my parents and doctors and no one knew what the hell had happened, except it was like a weird vampire baby from Twilight that wouldn't stop growing and then my dream ended inconclusively. I woke suddenly due to the presence of my brother in my room and immediately looked at my clock. 9:30. "Oh my god I'm late!" I shouted and began to panic. then I laid back down because I remembered it was Saturday and I had turned my alarm off before I went to sleep last night. The next three hours of my day were in bed scrolling through Facebook occasionally pushing air a little harder out my nose when I thought something was funny. When I finally ventured outside of my warm ocean of blankets I immediately went to the kitchen to do a little bit of reconnaissance scouting for lunch and/or breakfast foods. Cereal for dinner and then breakfast? Do I want to be that guy? I decided to screw cooking and instead eat some popcorn and wait for my parents to return, or wait until my hunger surpassed my laziness. My parents arrived bearing gifts in the form of a sandwich from Panera, and then again departed to watch my brother play basketball, all the while I played the GameCube and ate a ham and cheese sandwich on non-moldy rye bread. I got bored to the point where I gave out the url of this blog to strangers on the internet (S/O to Felix from the UK). My day of lounging around ended when my mother got home and immediately demanded I clean my room, because obviously all of the people coming over at 7:30 on a Saturday night (none) would be so concerned with how my room looks. After ignoring her yelling and instead promising to do it 'later,' I was beckoned to the kitchen by the ever promising sound of "Jacob I made you dinner." As I actually got up from the TV side seat, I walked to

my mom to find her presenting me with a cup of frozen yogurt. "I made frozen yogurt." Again I was faced with the prospect of eating a sub-par, or mom-par, dinner. "What would Gram think about this?" I asked as she was walking away. She stopped in her tracks. "Do not tell Gram about this." I sarcastically responded, "Why not? Cereal last night and then frozen yogurt tonight." My mother actually looked concerned that I might tell her mother about her indecent dinners so she threatened, "If you do I'll tell your friends something about you!" Which is ridiculous because when I asked her to name any of my friends she could name about 3. Let it be known that I have over 700 (Facebook) friends. Finally after she suggested that me not cleaning my room is why she wouldn't make me dinner, I returned to my room again and pondered what I could eat. I didn't have to ponder long because right then, my friends Zoey and Lauren called me and invited me back to Lauren's house to hang out and prepare for our canoe trip tomorrow morning. And so, at 7 o'clock PM, I finally changed out of my pajamas and get out of the house for the first time all day and drove off into the night. When we got to Lauren's house we realized quickly that we couldn't actually do all that much to prepare because we didn't have much to bring, so Lauren drove Zoey home and then I made Lauren take me to Perkin's so I could eat some real dinner. The best part of the entire night was that on the way out I put a dollar into the claw machine and 20 seconds later I was the proud owner of a Spider Man plush doll. Ahem, action figure. Idiots frustrate me daily, especially being that some of them live in my house. Speaking of my sister, she recently got a Facebook because she needed a place to share her pictures to while she's in California, but the only people who ever like or comment are my family; I've made a point to point this out to her. More updates to come, can't wait to be in a canoe tomorrow with three girls for three hours, wish me luck.