Welcome to Gatorland Y'all!

So today I went to the guitar concert because I had friends in it, and I had friends in the light booth, so why not? The reason why not was a little 12-year-old boy, who went by the mononym, 'Gator.' He's my friend Chloe's cousin and was brought along because she was babysitting him and doing lights. I first met Gator as he climbed into the light booth from the window, and I knew Chloe was bringing her cousin, but I didn't realize he'd be a floater. He gets in the room and immediately starts making Yo Mama jokes. "Yo mama is so dumb, that she bought a ticket to go see Xbox Live!" He was real proud of himself. He gave us his credentials which were as follows: wrestler, football player, used to play Minecraft when he was like 7 or something cause that game is for babies, skateboarder (shred it up brah), and drank 3 red bulls for breakfast. Gator would have been alright, but like a wild moose, he felt his authority challenged and so he tried to fight me in the confined lighting booth. I don't wanna brag, but I was about two feet taller than this kid, and he was kind of small, so I'd just bear hug him cause I didn't know what to do.

Some Gator quotes:

• "I've kissed 8 girls"
• "I kissed 3 girls at once"
• "I like peanuts"
• "I have 100 times more Instagram followers than you"
• "Woah, you have a Facebook?!"

Eventually, Gator, Chloe and I went outside because we were making a ruckus, and then Gator decided we

were going have an to all out fight. He started circling me like a tiny ass shark, and then he kept trying to grab me! I have got to hand it to this kid, he has balls, but he kept trying to punch me, so I just picked him up. Then I didn't know what to do with him so I put him back down, and he came at me again! He kept punching me in the stomach saying, "I bet you didn't feel that!" He made me sad. I went in the lighting booth and proceeded to lock him out. We let Chloe in too, but apparently, while the door was closing, Gator taped it so he could get in whenever. That isn't to say he was really locked out because he had the window, but it's nice to have options. At a certain point in the evening, we hadn't seen him for a while, so I open the door of the booth, and he's there talking to some 20-something-year-old and checking out his skateboard. According to Gator, he used to have a professional sponsor.

Somehow the concert lasted over two and a half hours, a fact that Gator would not let us forget. I was scrolling through Facebook and came upon a photo of Donald Trump, at which point Gator informed me that Trump was a "douche bag." Gator also told me that he's kissed more girls than me and that, "your mom doesn't count." He even had me send his photograph to Ashley Lazarski.

Towards the end of the concert Gator was getting to be a bit too much, so when it ended, we were all extremely relieved. The pièce de résistance was when he decided to slide down the banisters in the auditorium stairwell, and that was when it was time to call it quits. For more Gator updates, follow his Instagram @GPFLUG7 where you will notice that he has significantly fewer followers than me!!!