Another Day in Paradise

So this morning I woke up at 6:30 and pulled a real Jacob by remembering I hadn't finished last night's homework. I started typing it up, expecting to have all the time I needed because we get to school late anyway, but then Sophie started screaming at me to get ready because we had to actually get to school on time today for some BS standardized writing test she had to take. I told her that she couldn't just demand people to move faster in the mornings when she makes us late every single day. Then she yelled at me, and my mom yelled at me, so I got moving. I grabbed my stuff off the printer and my lunch and got my ass in the car. Half of my paper didn't print because nobody got ink for the printer, so that's just a sad little fact. We started driving and Sophie was reviewing literary terms. "Point of view, third person perspective, imagery," she read off. Then she started naming transition words. "Is consequently a good one?" she asked me. My mom suggested she focus more on the spelling than the words. I knew she was trying to be helpful, but I said "good one mom!" Then Sophie was offended because she thought mom had just insulted her so she started whining. "I'm serious! Spell course, as in 'of course'." She spelled it C-O-R-S-E. Mom corrected her: C-O-A-R-S-E. Ok so that was ridiculous

I got to school, and I started walking through the hall when all of a sudden a stout black lady grabbed my arm. She said, "I thought about you yesterday because you are so funny!" I had no idea who the hell that woman was. I said thanks and kept walking. Then it dawned on me that she was the substitute teacher from psychology a week ago when I did stand up comedy for 45 minutes in class. But then if the sub liked me... How did I get in trouble the next week for being distracting in class??? I got to first period and I sat through math class only so that I could have my teacher print my thing for me. The most difficult part of the day was trying to unwrap a Moon Pie in history without Miss Rushing hearing or Drew getting pissed off. Well in my effort to quietly open the plastic wrapper, I spent 15 minutes just making noise. It's a struggle we can all identify with.

After school, I had to go to Miss Ponti's room to talk about ToK, but all that really happened was she told Cristy and me that our presentation was pretty much completely wrong. So that was disheartening. Then as Cristy and I were going to our respective afternoon destinations, we ran into a police officer who asked us for our 'certificates' whatever that meant. I thought he was just making a joke like when Josh Schwartz's dad pretended to be a truant officer when he saw me at Panera on IB senior skip day. I acted like I was pretending to find a certificate and then just kinda laughed, waiting for him to stop the ruse. Then Cristy called him Jimmy and I realized he was her soccer coach and was asking her for a certificate and I just kinda looked like an idiot.

Tonight's dinner was a nice homecooked burrito from Tijuana Flats, and I know exactly what my mom would say if she read that. "Well would you have rather I cooked??" No, I would not rather that. I spent the rest of the night watching a combination of Criminal Minds and NBA basketball. My mom asked me how I know so much about basketball and I said, "well I've got to do something while I'm not studying."